Monday, May 16, 2016

Tapping in.

In my last entry, I shared a sketch that, from the second it appeared on the page before me, elicited some pretty big feels. The drawing itself was nothing monumental: Just a little mouse holding a daisy. Still, I couldn't remember the last time an image had pulled so strongly at my heart. Probably because it was my heart, speaking to me through my work, cheering me on, telling me to keep going, whispering that I was getting close. Or that's what it felt like, anyway.

Then I took a hiatus from everything: I flew out to my homeland of California and spent some time with my parents in the house I grew up in. One night, I pulled out a stack of old journals that I'd stored on the closet.

Tears welled as I read the following entry (which describes imagery that arose from a morning meditation) and saw that the inspiration for this little mouse - the vision - had been there all along:

18 May 2013 

Palms up and stretched out before me, I feel a weight there, as though I am carrying something. Then, in my mind's eye, I see it - it is a great bundle of FLOWERS. And I see myself handing one out to EVERYONE I meet. And reminding them of the beauty in themselves and in the world around them. 

Watching this vision fills my heart with so much joy and gratitude, my eyes well with thankful tears. If this is the load God has given me to carry, I will do this work happily, with love and purpose. 

Then my arms drop lower still, and expand around my body so that they are open as wide as can be! And the bundle of flowers grows into a mountain of fragrant, delicate blossoms. There is SO much to give! So much work to be done!

Then my palms begin to move up, my elbows bend in, and I feel this enormous, unfathomable bundle being placed back in my chest - compressed neatly into my humble little heart.

Such a beautiful, simple job.

Thank you Thank you Thank you.


So that's where this came from.

Little mouse. Courageous Spirit. Humble Heart.

Lead the way.

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